halp my mom is crazy

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• Inquisitor Herondale: "Do you know of the cuckoo bird, Jonathan Morgenstern?"
• Jace: "The what?"
• Inquisitor Herondale: "The cuckoo bird. You see, cuckoos are parasites. They lay their eggs in other birds' nests. When the egg hatches, the baby cuckoo pushes the other baby birds out of the nest. The poor parent birds work themselves to death trying to find enough food to feed the enormous cuckoo child who has murdered their babies and taken their places."
• Jace: "Enormous? Did you just call me fat?"
• Inquisitor Herondale: "It was an analogy."
• Jace: "I am not fat."

• 1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
• 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
• 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
• 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
• 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
• 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
• 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
• 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
• 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
• 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
• 11. Does love = sex?
• 12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
• 13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
• 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
• 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
• 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
• 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
• 18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
• 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
• 21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
• 22. Are you old fashioned?
• 23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
• 24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
• 25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

distantwave:

used-to-be-alright:

Sex is the weirdest thing because one person puts their protruding bit of flesh into a HOLE IN ANOTHER PERSON’S BODY and like rubs it around in there until genetic material is injected into that other person which combines with a DIFFERENT bit of genetic material and BECOMES ANOTHER PERSON like WHAT

Kissing is a weird thing also. Intimate kissing actually burns 26 calories per minute. Apparently its good for the teeth also, having the saliva flow in the mouth give your teeth a  plaque-dispersing bath. But at the same time, when people kiss, they’re exchanging billions of bacteria into their mouths. So many hormones pass threw your body. All because you put the thing you use to EAT and TALK(mouth), and press that up together with someone else’s, and tangle the things you use to push food to your teeth to chew (tongue).

(Source: you-are-an-airplane)

used-to-be-alright:

Sex is the weirdest thing because one person puts their protruding bit of flesh into a HOLE IN ANOTHER PERSON’S BODY and like rubs it around in there until genetic material is injected into that other person which combines with a DIFFERENT bit of genetic material and BECOMES ANOTHER PERSON like WHAT

(Source: you-are-an-airplane)

coagulates:

goes to check messages

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jesus it’s almost ten omfg where did the day go